Christmas for the Winchesters
by Sweet-Roxas
Summary: John decides to let Sam and Dean write Christmas letters to Santa, only thing is, does Dean want what he can't have?Sam:3 Dean:7


-1

Dean: 7

Sam: 3

John smiled at his kids, it was a sad smile. It had only been three years since Mary's death, not even Dean could muster much of a smile any more. But they had to look after little Sammy, John was pretty sure that was the only thing holding them together.

It was nearing Christmas, which was tomorrow. John had decided to make this one special for Sam and Dean, something that he was rarely able to do any more considering they were always travelling.

Sammy was sitting in front of the fire, Dean keeping a extremely close eye on Sam. He'd be there one moment and disappear the next.

"Sammy, if you get any closer to that fire you'll burn to death I swear" Dean mumbled, shaking his head, a small, tiny smile played on his lips. Sam was the only one who could ever get Dean to smile.

"Hey kiddos" John said walking into the living room, stocking's hanged above the small fireplace. Sam's head turned quickly towards John before Sam struggled to stand and run towards John.

"Daddy!" John picked up Sam and hugged him tightly.

"Hey Daddy" Dean said from the couch, standing up Dean walked over to John and hugged him as well. John smiled at both of his sons, they meant the world to him.

"I got you guys a piece of paper each on the table and a pencil, you can write Santa a letter telling him what you want for Christmas" Sam's eyes lite up brightly, Dean did nothing but hug John's leg tighter.

"Daddy?" Sam asked, grabbing John's attention. "Can you pwese help me wih the letter?"

"Of course Sammy, do you want to do it now?" Sam nodded furiously. "Deano, do you want any help?" Dean shook his head.

"I can do it Dad" Dean walked out into the other room. Sam followed short after, dragging John with him.

"Alright Sammy, what do you want from Santa?" John asked, picking up the pencil on the table. Dean was busily writing on his own piece of paper.

"A pony!" Sammy exclaimed pointing a finger in the air, John smiled but shook his head.

"How will Santa bring it here, the pony will be too heavy Sammy" John pointed out, Sam pouted but nodded all the same.

"Cers!" Sam exclaimed, John nodded and wrote it down, expect in a way John would understand it later on. He wrote: cars, and finally at the end of getting the words out of Sammy, taking the things that were too large and useless out of the list.

Dean had finished a while before Sam, so he quietly handed the paper to John and walked off into his room, silent sobs escaped him. Hoping that Santa would bring him what he wanted the most.

"Okay Sammy, it's getting late, Christmas is tomorrow, bed time" John said to Sammy, standing up. He picked up Sam and carried him to his bedroom, which he shared with Dean.

John looked over at Dean who was asleep on his bed, on top of the covers. John put Sam in his bed (he didn't have a cot, considering they moved around all too much), tucking him in with a light kiss on the forehead.

"Night, Sammy" John said softly.

"Night Daddy" Sam said, face beaming, John ruffled Sam's hair and walked over to Dean. He picked Dean up carefully, so he wouldn't wake his oldest son. Pulling the blankets down, he laid Dean back down.

"Night Dean" John said kissing Dean on the forehead much like he did Sam. He turned off the light and shut the door. Sitting down on the couch. It was only early, in a late way. Around 6 (Dean was just plain exhausted and Sam went to bed this early)

He picked up the two letters that the boys had made, already knowing what to give Sammy, he picked up Dean's. Unfolding it he read.

_Dear Santa,_

_My name is Dean Winchester. Daddy said that only good kids get presents, so I was good all year. What I really want for Christmas Santa, is to see my mom again, I miss her so much. Dad says I have to be strong for Sammy, I am you know._

_So please Santa, let me see my mummy again. She would be able to see how much Sammy and I have grown._

_Dean._

By the time John had finished reading it, tears sprung into his eyes, knowing he couldn't fulfil Dean's wish. Shaking his head clear he grabbed his keys and went to the local toy shop.

He brought Sam five little cars, a tickle me Elmo (Don't ask) and a little stuff tiger, just like Sam saw on TV once. Dean on the other hand, he couldn't think of anything. Instead he wrapped up a picture of Mary smiling sitting at the edge of a waterfall. He couldn't give Dean what he wanted but this was to be the next best thing. He also gave Dean an action man figure and toy guns.

He went home, after all the things were wrapped and placed them under a fifteen centimetre tree on the coffee table. He laid down on the couch and eventually fell asleep. In the morning Sam was bouncing on top of John, Dean standing behind Sam, his arms crossed. Though was smiling.

"Merry Christmas kiddos" John said sitting up, he handed out the gifts one by one. When Sam opened all of his he flung his arms around John and smiled.

"Fank you daddy!" Though when john looked over at Dean, all he could see was tears. John walked over to Dean and placed a firm arm on his son's shoulder.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Dean looked up at John, eyes puffy and red. Dean showed John the picture.

"Santa didn't get me what I wanted. I want Mom, not a picture daddy" Dean said slowly, through sobs. John bent down next to Dean and hugged him tight. Dean held onto the picture just as tight.

"I was good daddy, I tried and did every'hin you asked. It's not fair" Dean managed to say through tears.

"I know Dean, but sometimes Santa can't give you everything you ask, you know he can't bring people back from the dead" John explained to Dean. Dean wiped his eyes with his hands, Sam tapped John on the shoulder.

John turned to Sam.

"Yes Sammy?"

"We got you some'hin!" Sam explained, shoving a package into John's hands. John opened it and smiled.

It was a leather jacket, somehow they got it without John knowing a thing. Dean sniffed and told John.

"It was Sammy's idea" John collected both his boys and hugged them both tight. They both hugged him back, Dean glanced only once at the photo and told them.

"At least mom won't ever miss out on Christmas"

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Dean sighed as he looked at the picture of Mary, the one he got when he was seven for Christmas. Sam was watching Dean from a distance but couldn't help but feel a tear slide down his face. He barely remembered that Christmas, but he remembered Dean crying.

Sam was sure that was when Dean wasn't a kid any more.

"Dean?" Sam called out to Dean.

"Yeah?" Dean asked looking up, a leather jacket that they once gave to there father now fitted Dean perfectly.

"Merry Christmas Dean" Sam said, smiling. Dean looked once down at the worn picture and smiled.

"Yeah, you too"

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Note: The last part fits somewhere in Season two, after John died. This is a Christmas fic cause Christmas is coming soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed.


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